Another Goal In The Bag!

Woot Woot!!!!  So this is a lil older (about a month?).  By now I need to do another of these. But ANYWAYS, I was stoked because these shorts I am modeling were really tight on me when I bought them last summer.  Like probably 2 sizes too tight.  Those are Lane Bryant sz 26s that I modeled there and should have probably went with a 28. I probably was closer to a size 30.  Now, one year later, those shorts literally fall off me.  I took this photo when I reached the 230s (i think i was 238 when this photo was taken?).  As of today I weight 226.  I vaguely remember the last time I was in the 220s.  I had been on the Curves diet and lost 30lbs, and found out I was pregnant with my first son.  He is 6 1/2 now, so it has been a few years.  
I will say, this has not been easy.  I am not hungry much but I still have the cravings.  If I eat something that I am craving, I soon get sick.  I want meat so bad but my body rejects it.  I really want a steak... It's summertime and people have been grilling meat.  I smell a steak grilling and I swear I turn into a vampire. LOL   
I have been eating a lot of fruit and veggies.  Pineapple and cucumbers are my favorite right now.  I still can't eat any bread... which I guess is a good thing but I would really like to have a ham sammich!  ;)    
My boys always want to see my scar from my surgery.  Connor is scared if I sneeze or cough, it will come open and my insides will fall out.  If I sneeze or cough, he asks me if I am okay and looks to make sure I am not bleeding.  My youngest, Corbin, looks at it and thinks it's "Coooool".  LOL  I seem to be healing well.  Still have problems with gas pains and of course I always forget to pick up GasX.  Which, by the way, I finally bought some.  I have to admit, I have been one gassy chick!  Always farting... I can't go anywhere without ripping it up!  Even my oldest son said "Mom!  Your farts smell so bad, they smell badder than dad's!"  and the other day I farted at the grocery store and we were in the laundry aisle and he said "Thank God the smell of soap is covering up the smell of that fart because that is really smelly.  Like... REALLY BAD SMELLY MOM!"  Hey, I can't help it and I can't hold them in... which I refuse to hold them in after the gas pains I have experienced.  Better out than in, right?!  
Is anyone else sick and tired of these "diet" commercials that show a woman as a size 10 and complains about being so "unhealthy" and "fat" and now she is a size 4 and "feels sexy in a bikini" and "beautiful".  Anyways, I salute those bitches with a big 2 middle fingers up.  
I will soon post another pic of me...  :)   

My Gastric Bypass Journey:  One Month Later...

Hey everyone!  So it has been one month since my gastric bypass surgery!  As for how much weight I have lost?  Drumroll please... 30lbs!  Actually it's probably more but Aunt Rose came and I always gain 5-10lbs when that bitch comes every month.  I can tell you this though... that I have lost 40lbs. since the day I had my first consultation appointment with Dr. Johnson for the gastric bypass.  :)   

Here is how my first month has gone down so far...

I ended up getting sick with allergies pretty bad.  It sucks so bad to cough when you are still a bit sore from the surgery!  This happened about 3 weeks post-surgery.  Right around the same time I started getting really bad abdominal pain...

Three weeks after the date of my surgery, I was having horrible abdominal pains.  I was nauseous.  I was barely able to stand up straight from the pain.  I was hoping it was just gas, but these pains did not feel the same as the gas pains I had in the hospital.  I finally asked my husband to please take me to the emergency room.  I was reading online, and a lot of people say gall bladder issues are very common for people who have the gastric bypass.  So I was thinking the pain I was experiencing was from my gall bladder.  It was a Thursday night.  Not too busy in the ER but I had a bit of a wait.  I was hurting so bad, I couldn't hardly tell the nurses how bad I was hurting.  They thought I was in labor.  Finally, my hubby came in and was able to speak for me.  I thought I was going to die.  I felt bad for our boys because we had to drag them out of bed to take me to the ER.  After we got myself signed in, I told him to just go home.  I figured I was going to be there for awhile anyways.  Anyways, they got me back there and made me drink some nasty fruity water.  Seriously, it sounds yummy but its nasty.     I had to do a test where they make you drink that stuff and then they take you to a room and they injected me with some stuff that made me feel really warm and I swear I thought I was pissing on myself.  I didn't piss myself though.  Come to find out... Not my gall bladder... Not my appendix... IT WAS GAS!  Gas pains for real???  I felt so embarrassed.  The nurse I had told me to not worry about it.  His sister had the gastric bypass a few months earlier and he said to never underestimate abdominal pain after the gastric bypass.  His sister had gone to the hospital for gas pains a few times and she actually needed gall bladder surgery once.  He told me to get some rest.  
For a Thursday night in the ER, it was a wild night in the ER!  There were about 5 drunk women in the place.  The one in the room next to me was quite the spitfire!  She was cussing out the nurses and the cop waiting outside her door...  she was quiet for a few minutes and then I heard "I AM GONNA KILL THAT BITCH!" over and over and over... I personally liked the "That skank-hoe-whore-cheap-synthetic-weave-horsefaced bitch is going to die!" I think the lady over there had tourrette's syndrome cause once she started screaming and yelling, she probably repeated herself at least 100 times.  It was comical but I was exhausted! But, the good news was it was just gas and I got some pretty interesting entertainment.  :)

So, I have been experimenting with food.  Seeing what I can and can not handle.  I have a hard time with chocolate now.  :(  I get nauseous after I have chocolate.  I was making my protein shakes with the chocolate almond milk, but it made me sick.  Booo!  

That's another thing.  I throw up a lot.  My biggest problem is that I can't seem to sip.  I am a gulper when I drink and that causes me to get air in my tummy and gets me that gas and makes me sick.  I also have swallowed foods that weren't chewed up well enough.  I have tried chicken and I am just not ready for meats yet.  :(  

Now that the weather is getting nice, people have been cooking out and the smell of meat on a grill makes my mouth water!  I want to eat a steak so bad but I know it would be wasted on me.  :(   

So this is what my food diary pretty much looks like on most days... Some days I have a hard time just getting in my water for the day, let alone food!

Breakfast will be a protein shake.  Snack will be a plum or one of those Cuties (clemintines).  Lunch may be tuna with a lil bit of lite mayo and relish and a pickle.  Dinner will be cottage cheese and cooked veggies.  Or greek yogurt and I will try to eat something like some chicken.  Then, if I think about it I will have another protein shake.  
I have been taking 2-4 Centrum chewable vitamins a day (2 in morning, 2 in afternoon.  I said I take 2-4 because sometimes i forget to take either the morning or afternoon vitamins). I have calcium gummies and I take 3 daily.  I have also started the B-12 drops but they taste like ass and really does not help me out much energy wise.  

I have started going to the gym.  This will be week 3 of me kickin ass in the gym.  Actually, I am not kickin any ass in the gym.  I get on the eliptical machine and try to do at least 1 mile, if not 2.  Then I do the rowing machine for a few minutes.  When it starts getting uncomfortable for me abdominally, then I stop.  I can go about 5 minutes on that.  I don't stop in there until I have done a full 30 minute workout.  I find myself having a hard time working up a sweat.  Before the surgery, I could walk 5 minutes and be soaked in sweat.  Now I do a full 30 minute workout and now I "glow".  I am cold a lot still since the surgery.  This week I will be able to start weight training.  So this week I will start one day doing cardio, the next day doing weight training, and alternate my days.  I may even take one of the classes they hold, but I am not sure I am quite there for a class yet.  

I need to post some pictures but to be honest, I have always trashed any photos of me that are not from chest-up.  I hate full bodied photos of myself.  I hate to see that I let myself go that badly.  So tomorrow, I may take a photo of myself in my pre-surgery fave jeans and shirt.  They used to fit me either snuggly or just perfect and now they are rather big on me.  

So my next big goal is to reach 225 lbs.  I told my hubby that when I reach 170lbs or when I get to a size 14 (whichever comes first) that we are gonna go to Vegas and I am gonna wear sexy type of dresses the whole time.  LOL  Maybe it will happen.  Hell, at this point, I will be happy to just see the scale under 200lbs!  

Take care yalls!  Never Give Up On Yourself!

Losing weight... Losing patience!

Happy Easter Everyone!  I hope everyone has enjoyed a wonderful day with their families and enjoyed ham, deviled eggs, and other yummies.  We celebrated our Easter on Saturday and the boys had a wonderful time getting plastic eggs filled with yummy goodies.  Looking on Facebook and seeing all these people posting photos of their Easter meals makes me want to stab them with forks.  Seriously.  I have not had a solid piece of food in my mouth since March 19th and I am getting pretty edgy.

We visited my inlaws yesterday.  She made a ham, deviled eggs, and potato salad.  I wanted to lick the ham.  I was good.  I drank some cranberry juice to help lick the UTI that I have been suffering from.  My mother-in-law, bless her heart, was so worried about how to do dinner for Easter.  She did good.  She made it and if anyone wanted any, they could get it from the fridge.  She didn't leave it out and leave me totally tempted.  If I went to the kitchen, I was herded out pretty much immediately.  Still, I want some ham.  I don't want to eat it... just lick and suck on thick piece of ham.  Oh hell... give me that whole ham bone and I will suck it down to the marrow.  BUT NO!  No, I am doing this damn it!  

Anyways, my momma had to go home today.  I have been feeling down.  I know she needed to go back home but I am still not up to par and still want my momma.  I am the 30-something child who still calls momma when sick.  I know there is not much she can do, but just hearing momma's voice is enough.  :)    THANK YOU MOMMA FOR YOUR HELP!  I really wish I could have spent more time with you while you were here.  

I really wanted to go for a walk with the boys today, but I have been having so many issues with dizziness and FREEZING!!!!!  It was 73 degrees today and to me it felt like it was 30!  

I have had some tomato soup (really watered down in broth and water).  My husband has been a chef today and has been cooking up some goodies for himself and the kids and I am about to go BERSERK!  He made a philly cheesesteak for himself for lunch.  ARGH! The smell was too much.  I wanted to punch him.  So I went to bed, turned on my heating blanket, pulled my blankets over my face to cover the smell of cooked meat.  I slept for a few hours.  Woke up and had a few tablespoons of soup.  Then the hubby made himself and the kids some food that I once again am about to go berserk!  He made the boys some random food of frozen pizza and chicken taquitos!  THE SMELL!!!!!!!  ARGH!!!!!!!!!!  I can't stand it.  The smell of food is driving me up the f'n wall!!!  

I am still dealing with the gas pains.  I did not share with you the pain I experienced in the hospital with the gas.  GOD HELP ME!  I wanted to fart... I wanted to burp... but I could not do ANYTHING!  It had been 3 days after my surgery and I was crying in pain!  Everyone kept saying "get up and walk!" I did walk some. It helped a little but not much.  One nurse told me to lay on my back and roll from side to side.  Yeah, well, it's hard to manuever your body in that way after severe abdominal surgery.  I felt more like a turtle laying on my back.  I went to the toilet and hoped I would fart and maybe even poo a lil bit.  No poo.  No fart.  My legs, however, did fall asleep from sitting on the toilet so long.  

I tried laying down on my left side to get the pain out.  Nothing!  So I started praying... I guess pretty loudly.  I was praying "LORD JESUS!  PLEASE HELP ME FART!  LET ME RIP A BIGGUN, JESUS!  PLEASE! "  over and over.   I thought I was gonna BLOW!  But nope.  Nothing.  Not even a small *ppffttt*!  The doctor said if I wanted, I could have an enema.  An enema?  Oh hell... why not!?!?  Nothing else was working.  I feel I should have given my nurse my phone number and take her out for dinner and a drink.  Seriously.   She was a champ though.  Nothing like getting an enema with an audience...  Not like I am really modest or anything.  I am a mother of 2 boys.  Modesty kind of goes out the window after childbirth.  Anyways, the enema calmed me a tiny bit.  I managed a few lil *ppfftts*.  I really just wanted to pass a big, fat, earth-shattering fart and I am still waiting to pass it.  

My time in the hospital was not bad.  The broth they gave me was grainy and blah tasting.  I think the only things that kept me sane was the gatorades and ice chips.  My doctor and nurses were loving and caring.  Thank you Dr. Ted Johnson and the caring team at Carteret General Hospital in Morehead City, NC!!!  

http://carteretsurgical.com/team.aspx?id=jjohnson


So I have been home since March 24th.  I have been doing okay.  I have gone on some outings and walks.  Honestly, walking and getting some fresh air helps a lot.  I get super tired fast.  The gas pains are not as severe, but on an occasion I get some that kick my ass.  It feels good to sleep in my bed.  You will appreciate your bed very much after sleeping in the hospital!  I have problems with dizziness and being cold.  From what I have been told and what I have been reading, what I am going through is completely normal.  

I see my doctor for my post-op visit on Tuesday.  I have found some interesting blogs of people who are on this journey.  I like to read and hear where everyone is on their journey and how they are handling it.  I have made friends on facebook with people who can share with me their experiences.  

I need to get up and move around some.  I can't type much more because my hands are so cold!  

God bless everyone!  Enjoy your Easter!  Thank you God! Thank you Jesus!  

Just Another Gastric Bypass Journey...

Hello, friends!  Most of yalls who read this, probably already know me.  Those who have no idea who I am...?  Well... the best thing I can tell yalls is "To know me, is to love me."

So the purpose of this new blog, is to share my newest experience and life change.  I had the gastric bypass surgery on March 20.  After years of failed diets, fads, and the "don't give a shit anymore", I decided it was time to give a shit.  

I am a wife to a hot guy and always feel people walk by us and think "How did she get him?"  Hey, I don't look like I was beaten with the ugly stick but I don't exactly have the face for VOGUE.  I know he loves me for who I am.  I have a good personality and some nice boobs!

We have two absolutely adorable boys.  My Corbin is almost 3 and my Connor is 6.  They have busy lives and I need to be healthy for them.  Actually I can not keep up with my toddler.  He's a fast and adventurous lil guy!  Keeping up with him in stores, the park... well, anywhere is more than I can handle most days on a mental and physical level!  

I have been going back and forth on the lap-band and the gastric bypass for about 4 years now.  I thought about going for the lap-band but thought I would try to lose the weight on my own because I have done so well on my own thus far right?  

Well, I reached my heaviest weight when I was 9 months pregnant with my youngest son.  I reached 315bs!  I was shocked and embarrassed I had reached that point!  My son was born at 10lbs, 10oz, 24 in long!  The day after I got home from the hospital, I weighed 285lbs.  That date was May 10th, 2010.  

Today is March 29, 2013.  It has been 9 days since my gastric bypass surgery.  The last filling meal that my mouth tasted was on March 19.  Cici's Pizza Buffet with my boys.  I can imagine the taste of those cinnamon rolls on my tongue now.  Anyways, they told me the typical "No food after mid-night" schpeel.  

The day of my gastric bypass surgery is almost a total blur!  Waiting in the day surgery room until they called my name.  They were busy.  I read American Sniper, the Chris Kyle autobiography until they called me back.  Would you believe I started my stupid period right before they got me back there?  It was nice chatting with my hubby until they wheeled me back.  Wouldn't you know it, that we were watching that show WHAT NOT TO WEAR right before going back?  The girl they were helping had just lost a ton of weight and was still wearing huge clothes and was clueless about what to wear.  Pretty sure I should have paid attention to that episode because I am positive I will be in the exact position.

I remember them giving me a shot, saying bye to my hubby, and feeling motion sickness on the way to the operating room.  I closed my eyes and said "Let's get rolling!"  Excited indeed about my new adventure.

Next thing I remember... PAIN! THIRST! CAN'T BREATHE! over and over.  Then sleep.  I have no idea when I woke up again, but I was in so much pain, I couldn't speak, my breaths were short, and I wanted ICE!  I hated how they kept asking me questions... I could not speak.  I was getting pretty pissy because my mouth was so dry, my throat so sore, and my back was killing me from the damned hospital cot.  "ICE!  PLEASE ICE!" and the nurse said "No ice.  Just hit the button here and get some sleep."  As sore as I was in my abdomen, I could not stand the dryness in my mouth and lips.  My breathing was short and I felt like I had an elephant on my chest.  I was not sure when my husband left, but  I know he had to get back home to our boys. I know I eased in and out of sleep.  I preferred being asleep because it took attention away from the dryness in my mouth and that I was positioned so uncomfortably in that damned bed.  I don't know when they came in, but it must have been when everyone was coming and going from their shifts.  My surgeon, Dr. Johnson, did not come in but his assistant did.  I just wanted ice.  He told the nurse to bring me some swabs but nothing else.  He felt my stomach around.  He told me I would be getting a shot in my stomach to prevent blood clots.  Reminded me to hit the button for morphine. I was out again.  It seemed every time I woke up, I would ask for ice and they would say I couldn't have any yet.  I have no idea when they finally came back in, but I just wanted to be re-positioned and have some ice.  I know everyone was doing their job.  They were very attentive and caring for me.  I have no complaints about the quality of care I received.  I was just starting to get very frustrated with the oxygen thing up my nose and strangling me around my neck.  My hospital gown was twisted around my body.  I was burning up.  The pain in my abdomen and back was driving me insane.  AND I JUST WANTED SOME ICE!  A nurse gave me a few swabs, but they made me gag.  Gagging after major abdominal surgery = PAIN!  Anxiety was kicking in.  I wanted to sit up, get naked, brush my hair (i could feel that my hair alone would require serious assistance), and rip that damn oxygen off of me!!! 

Thankfully, my surgeon came in and checked me over.  My blood pressure was high and I had a fever.  He finally agreed that I could have ice chips.  That was the first greatest feeling I had in I don't even know how many hours!  ICE!  I was finally able to start talking.  A few guys came in to help me get comfortable in my bed and the nurse changed my gown.  Aaahhh!  I was finally starting to feel normal again.  My husband was there to help me stand up and walk around a bit.  I about passed out.  I was having a really hard time walking around without feeling dizzy.  I was still having problems with my temperature and blood pressure.  It helped to have my hubby there.  He should be a nurse (not really a nurse, but some of those skinny nurses trying to help a big girl like me move around?!).  He was so helpful. 

My husband came later on Friday.  He had our boys and my momma!  There is nothing that feels better than getting to see your Momma and my Loves!  I am a total momma-girl and I want my momma when I feel like crap!  My nurses were great, but I wanted my momma!  My boys were not sure what to think of seeing me in my state of condition.  I was so happy to see them anyways.  My inlaws came to visit me when I had my first meal!  MY FIRST MEAL!  Consisted of broth (grainy, nasty, cold broth), gatorade, decaf tea, and ice chips.  The Gatorade and ice chips were so satisfying and visiting with my inlaws made me start to feel pretty human again.

I will post more tomorrow.  Or whenever.  Tonight I am gonna chill on the couch and await the coming of the tooth fairy.  My oldest lost his top front tooth.  At least he managed to not lose this tooth!  LOL  

Goodnight!