Losing weight... Losing patience!

Happy Easter Everyone!  I hope everyone has enjoyed a wonderful day with their families and enjoyed ham, deviled eggs, and other yummies.  We celebrated our Easter on Saturday and the boys had a wonderful time getting plastic eggs filled with yummy goodies.  Looking on Facebook and seeing all these people posting photos of their Easter meals makes me want to stab them with forks.  Seriously.  I have not had a solid piece of food in my mouth since March 19th and I am getting pretty edgy.

We visited my inlaws yesterday.  She made a ham, deviled eggs, and potato salad.  I wanted to lick the ham.  I was good.  I drank some cranberry juice to help lick the UTI that I have been suffering from.  My mother-in-law, bless her heart, was so worried about how to do dinner for Easter.  She did good.  She made it and if anyone wanted any, they could get it from the fridge.  She didn't leave it out and leave me totally tempted.  If I went to the kitchen, I was herded out pretty much immediately.  Still, I want some ham.  I don't want to eat it... just lick and suck on thick piece of ham.  Oh hell... give me that whole ham bone and I will suck it down to the marrow.  BUT NO!  No, I am doing this damn it!  

Anyways, my momma had to go home today.  I have been feeling down.  I know she needed to go back home but I am still not up to par and still want my momma.  I am the 30-something child who still calls momma when sick.  I know there is not much she can do, but just hearing momma's voice is enough.  :)    THANK YOU MOMMA FOR YOUR HELP!  I really wish I could have spent more time with you while you were here.  

I really wanted to go for a walk with the boys today, but I have been having so many issues with dizziness and FREEZING!!!!!  It was 73 degrees today and to me it felt like it was 30!  

I have had some tomato soup (really watered down in broth and water).  My husband has been a chef today and has been cooking up some goodies for himself and the kids and I am about to go BERSERK!  He made a philly cheesesteak for himself for lunch.  ARGH! The smell was too much.  I wanted to punch him.  So I went to bed, turned on my heating blanket, pulled my blankets over my face to cover the smell of cooked meat.  I slept for a few hours.  Woke up and had a few tablespoons of soup.  Then the hubby made himself and the kids some food that I once again am about to go berserk!  He made the boys some random food of frozen pizza and chicken taquitos!  THE SMELL!!!!!!!  ARGH!!!!!!!!!!  I can't stand it.  The smell of food is driving me up the f'n wall!!!  

I am still dealing with the gas pains.  I did not share with you the pain I experienced in the hospital with the gas.  GOD HELP ME!  I wanted to fart... I wanted to burp... but I could not do ANYTHING!  It had been 3 days after my surgery and I was crying in pain!  Everyone kept saying "get up and walk!" I did walk some. It helped a little but not much.  One nurse told me to lay on my back and roll from side to side.  Yeah, well, it's hard to manuever your body in that way after severe abdominal surgery.  I felt more like a turtle laying on my back.  I went to the toilet and hoped I would fart and maybe even poo a lil bit.  No poo.  No fart.  My legs, however, did fall asleep from sitting on the toilet so long.  

I tried laying down on my left side to get the pain out.  Nothing!  So I started praying... I guess pretty loudly.  I was praying "LORD JESUS!  PLEASE HELP ME FART!  LET ME RIP A BIGGUN, JESUS!  PLEASE! "  over and over.   I thought I was gonna BLOW!  But nope.  Nothing.  Not even a small *ppffttt*!  The doctor said if I wanted, I could have an enema.  An enema?  Oh hell... why not!?!?  Nothing else was working.  I feel I should have given my nurse my phone number and take her out for dinner and a drink.  Seriously.   She was a champ though.  Nothing like getting an enema with an audience...  Not like I am really modest or anything.  I am a mother of 2 boys.  Modesty kind of goes out the window after childbirth.  Anyways, the enema calmed me a tiny bit.  I managed a few lil *ppfftts*.  I really just wanted to pass a big, fat, earth-shattering fart and I am still waiting to pass it.  

My time in the hospital was not bad.  The broth they gave me was grainy and blah tasting.  I think the only things that kept me sane was the gatorades and ice chips.  My doctor and nurses were loving and caring.  Thank you Dr. Ted Johnson and the caring team at Carteret General Hospital in Morehead City, NC!!!  

http://carteretsurgical.com/team.aspx?id=jjohnson


So I have been home since March 24th.  I have been doing okay.  I have gone on some outings and walks.  Honestly, walking and getting some fresh air helps a lot.  I get super tired fast.  The gas pains are not as severe, but on an occasion I get some that kick my ass.  It feels good to sleep in my bed.  You will appreciate your bed very much after sleeping in the hospital!  I have problems with dizziness and being cold.  From what I have been told and what I have been reading, what I am going through is completely normal.  

I see my doctor for my post-op visit on Tuesday.  I have found some interesting blogs of people who are on this journey.  I like to read and hear where everyone is on their journey and how they are handling it.  I have made friends on facebook with people who can share with me their experiences.  

I need to get up and move around some.  I can't type much more because my hands are so cold!  

God bless everyone!  Enjoy your Easter!  Thank you God! Thank you Jesus!  

Just Another Gastric Bypass Journey...

Hello, friends!  Most of yalls who read this, probably already know me.  Those who have no idea who I am...?  Well... the best thing I can tell yalls is "To know me, is to love me."

So the purpose of this new blog, is to share my newest experience and life change.  I had the gastric bypass surgery on March 20.  After years of failed diets, fads, and the "don't give a shit anymore", I decided it was time to give a shit.  

I am a wife to a hot guy and always feel people walk by us and think "How did she get him?"  Hey, I don't look like I was beaten with the ugly stick but I don't exactly have the face for VOGUE.  I know he loves me for who I am.  I have a good personality and some nice boobs!

We have two absolutely adorable boys.  My Corbin is almost 3 and my Connor is 6.  They have busy lives and I need to be healthy for them.  Actually I can not keep up with my toddler.  He's a fast and adventurous lil guy!  Keeping up with him in stores, the park... well, anywhere is more than I can handle most days on a mental and physical level!  

I have been going back and forth on the lap-band and the gastric bypass for about 4 years now.  I thought about going for the lap-band but thought I would try to lose the weight on my own because I have done so well on my own thus far right?  

Well, I reached my heaviest weight when I was 9 months pregnant with my youngest son.  I reached 315bs!  I was shocked and embarrassed I had reached that point!  My son was born at 10lbs, 10oz, 24 in long!  The day after I got home from the hospital, I weighed 285lbs.  That date was May 10th, 2010.  

Today is March 29, 2013.  It has been 9 days since my gastric bypass surgery.  The last filling meal that my mouth tasted was on March 19.  Cici's Pizza Buffet with my boys.  I can imagine the taste of those cinnamon rolls on my tongue now.  Anyways, they told me the typical "No food after mid-night" schpeel.  

The day of my gastric bypass surgery is almost a total blur!  Waiting in the day surgery room until they called my name.  They were busy.  I read American Sniper, the Chris Kyle autobiography until they called me back.  Would you believe I started my stupid period right before they got me back there?  It was nice chatting with my hubby until they wheeled me back.  Wouldn't you know it, that we were watching that show WHAT NOT TO WEAR right before going back?  The girl they were helping had just lost a ton of weight and was still wearing huge clothes and was clueless about what to wear.  Pretty sure I should have paid attention to that episode because I am positive I will be in the exact position.

I remember them giving me a shot, saying bye to my hubby, and feeling motion sickness on the way to the operating room.  I closed my eyes and said "Let's get rolling!"  Excited indeed about my new adventure.

Next thing I remember... PAIN! THIRST! CAN'T BREATHE! over and over.  Then sleep.  I have no idea when I woke up again, but I was in so much pain, I couldn't speak, my breaths were short, and I wanted ICE!  I hated how they kept asking me questions... I could not speak.  I was getting pretty pissy because my mouth was so dry, my throat so sore, and my back was killing me from the damned hospital cot.  "ICE!  PLEASE ICE!" and the nurse said "No ice.  Just hit the button here and get some sleep."  As sore as I was in my abdomen, I could not stand the dryness in my mouth and lips.  My breathing was short and I felt like I had an elephant on my chest.  I was not sure when my husband left, but  I know he had to get back home to our boys. I know I eased in and out of sleep.  I preferred being asleep because it took attention away from the dryness in my mouth and that I was positioned so uncomfortably in that damned bed.  I don't know when they came in, but it must have been when everyone was coming and going from their shifts.  My surgeon, Dr. Johnson, did not come in but his assistant did.  I just wanted ice.  He told the nurse to bring me some swabs but nothing else.  He felt my stomach around.  He told me I would be getting a shot in my stomach to prevent blood clots.  Reminded me to hit the button for morphine. I was out again.  It seemed every time I woke up, I would ask for ice and they would say I couldn't have any yet.  I have no idea when they finally came back in, but I just wanted to be re-positioned and have some ice.  I know everyone was doing their job.  They were very attentive and caring for me.  I have no complaints about the quality of care I received.  I was just starting to get very frustrated with the oxygen thing up my nose and strangling me around my neck.  My hospital gown was twisted around my body.  I was burning up.  The pain in my abdomen and back was driving me insane.  AND I JUST WANTED SOME ICE!  A nurse gave me a few swabs, but they made me gag.  Gagging after major abdominal surgery = PAIN!  Anxiety was kicking in.  I wanted to sit up, get naked, brush my hair (i could feel that my hair alone would require serious assistance), and rip that damn oxygen off of me!!! 

Thankfully, my surgeon came in and checked me over.  My blood pressure was high and I had a fever.  He finally agreed that I could have ice chips.  That was the first greatest feeling I had in I don't even know how many hours!  ICE!  I was finally able to start talking.  A few guys came in to help me get comfortable in my bed and the nurse changed my gown.  Aaahhh!  I was finally starting to feel normal again.  My husband was there to help me stand up and walk around a bit.  I about passed out.  I was having a really hard time walking around without feeling dizzy.  I was still having problems with my temperature and blood pressure.  It helped to have my hubby there.  He should be a nurse (not really a nurse, but some of those skinny nurses trying to help a big girl like me move around?!).  He was so helpful. 

My husband came later on Friday.  He had our boys and my momma!  There is nothing that feels better than getting to see your Momma and my Loves!  I am a total momma-girl and I want my momma when I feel like crap!  My nurses were great, but I wanted my momma!  My boys were not sure what to think of seeing me in my state of condition.  I was so happy to see them anyways.  My inlaws came to visit me when I had my first meal!  MY FIRST MEAL!  Consisted of broth (grainy, nasty, cold broth), gatorade, decaf tea, and ice chips.  The Gatorade and ice chips were so satisfying and visiting with my inlaws made me start to feel pretty human again.

I will post more tomorrow.  Or whenever.  Tonight I am gonna chill on the couch and await the coming of the tooth fairy.  My oldest lost his top front tooth.  At least he managed to not lose this tooth!  LOL  

Goodnight!